When we accomplish great things, we feel fulfilled. It is our very nature to enjoy getting things done. It is no wonder we feel a sense of satisfaction when the task is completed. It’s only natural to want to share news of our achievements and maybe even receive some recognition.
Achievers receive the respect of the onlookers. Achievers are held in high esteem. People that we consider “successful” receive our admiration and adoration.
But, as anyone who has tried to do great things will tell you, it’s not all smooth sailing. The paths and trails which lead to success and accomplishment are strewn with obstacles and potholes. These pitfalls are inevitable and expected. Those who attempt great things know all about the struggles, failures and setbacks that come with effort. We plan for these annoyances with potential strategies to overcome them if they are encountered on the journey.
What is usually NOT expected (and rarely ever planned for) is opposition from OUR OWN mental reserves… The BullySelf! Why is it showing up here? What is MY BullySelf doing in my “Chance of a Lifetime” moment?!?
We ALL have a bully to face and its usually not something we plan for in our moments of preparation. (Yeah, I’m with YOU; I feel like I shouldn’t have to make plans for overcoming MY OWN oppositions, in MY OWN plan for improving MY circumstances. I mean, shouldn’t “I”, of all people, be on board in my journey toward happiness and success)?!?
We’ve all experienced setbacks of one kind or another. Setbacks show up in our lives for many different reasons. They can appear because of our own actions but are not reserved only for our moments of incompetence. Whether the setbacks come from the BullySelf or from outside influences, what matters in any setback situation is HOW you decide to deal with the problem.
Has your BullySelf become so powerful that you have trouble putting thoughts of encouragement back into your internal conversations?
The BullySelf likes to set itself up as the controlling voice in the command center of your brain. The BullySelf loves the spotlight and will increase its volume, rhythm and tempo if it thinks you might displace it as the center of all your personal opinions. Just remember, that this is NOT the truth unless you give in to having the BullySelf control your inward conversations.
Let’s briefly remind ourselves of some basic steps to changing our BullySelf habits. This list isn’t the “end all” list but you’ll get the idea of where we’re going.
- Recognize that it happens.
- Acknowledge your reaction.
- SBD (Stop Bully Dominance)
- Get MIF’d! (My Ideas First)
- Pat yourself on the back.
- Repeat as necessary.
We’ll discuss the best way to use these steps in an upcoming post. Right now, let’s start to familiarize with these basic steps to overcoming the BullySelf.
The list seems short and the steps simple; but don’t let this fool you into thinking that overcoming years of habitual abuse, at the hand of a practiced bully, will be easy to overcome. It usually takes some time. We ARE trying to break old habits and replace them with newer, more helpful ones. That just doesn’t happen overnight.
If you have your own “Habit Changing Blueprint” that works, feel free to use it. You can always blend the two together. We’re more interested in helping you overcome the negative impact of the BullySelf than we are in having you follow the exact list published here. We want to help develop and understand the tools we all need to overcome the habitual self-bullying.
Remember to stay aware of what is happening with the conversation in your mind. The BullySelf is always ready to chime in whenever there is an encounter or a creative thought.
With these steps and plenty of practice, we can improve our responses to the BullySelf’s tactics. This will result in the BullySelf becoming less influential in our daily decision making.
We know we can never completely remove the BullySelf from our minds, but we CAN tame it so it can’t take away our motivation to achieve our goals.
Let’s show the BullySelf who’s boss!
