A Lonely Valentine – Who Will You Love?

Lonely Valentine

Valentine’s Day is swiftly bearing down on us.  Soon we’ll all be inundated with an overabundance of chocolate-filled commercials and a boatload of depressing Facebook statuses about “Singles Awareness Day”.  Love is in the air!!!

But is there love inside your head?

We all have a list of things we hope to find in a spouse/partner/relationship.  Physical features, educational attributes, personality characteristics, morals and values…the list can get lengthy.  Let’s say each one of these things has an importance factor from 1 to 10.   If someone doesn’t measure up, then we ultimately decide that we are not meant to be together.  After all, a life-long partnership would need compatible personalities in order to achieve the “Happily Ever After” we’re looking for.

But what if WE are the reason we can’t have the Happily Ever After we so desperately desire?

Oftentimes, we seem to forget that we have to have a lifelong relationship with ourselves.  Day in and day out.  From sunrise to sundown.  We are stuck like glue!

Oscar Wilde once said, “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

If we were dating another individual and encountered a “Red Flag” or two, some attribute or value that did not align with our own ideals, we would most likely terminate the relationship.  If the individual we were dating was mistreating us in some way, the hope would be that we would recognize it and terminate the relationship.  Feeling underappreciated or undervalued, made to feel “ordinary”, might also cause us to want to move on.

And yet, we undervalue ourselves.  We believe we are “ordinary”, that we lack something special that someone else desires to have.  We can so easily pick out the best characteristics we see in others, but we fail to see that we are and can be those things, too!

We are each unique and wonderful beings!  We have worth!  We are extraordinary!  We are powerful!  We may not be perfect –but our perfect imperfection is what makes us real!

We must remember that we deserve to be made a priority in our own lives.  Just as we give those we love, such as a spouse, or a child or a close friend, part of our time to maintain a healthy relationship, we must do the same for ourselves.  It is not selfish!  We typically give “our best” to those around us, but eventually we will burn out and ALL of our relationships will suffer as a result.

Maybe this year, instead of desperately seeking a Valentine who will shower us with expensive flowers or chocolates or fancy dinners, we should treat ourselves as the special date that we are.  Let’s begin to “date” ourselves, shower ourselves with the love and affection we deserve.  Tell ourselves that we are worthy of love, success and healthy relationships.

Whether single, dating, or married – let’s all challenge ourselves this Valentine’s Day to treat ourselves with the respect we deserve.  You don’t know where you’ll end up until you take that first step.  When you begin your journey with a love of yourself, the sky really is the limit!

What doors and opportunities will begin to open up when we truly believe in and love ourselves?  How will our relationships grow and flourish?  What great things might we achieve?


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