Do you ever question yourself, trying to improve your current circumstances? Do you view your questions as useful or just rhetorical? Do you ask yourself empowering questions or are your questions demoralizing? Do your questions carry the heaviness of “Ugh, why does this keep happening to me?” When you ask them, are you gloomy and morose?
These low energy tones will keep you gloomy and moody …an overwhelming recipe for inaction. These tones and types of questions aren’t looking for answers; they just serve to confirm our moods. They become just one more reason to complain.
Many of us have developed the habit of low energy, self-limiting questions. The tone of the questions we ask ourselves is a good indicator of where our thoughts will go.
Self-Bullying questions in low energy, demoralizing tones will NOT serve us toward a higher purpose. They CANNOT enlighten us when we seek uplifting answers.
You can’t alter the natural properties of a substance without changing the substance. And similarly, you can’t gain uplifting, powerful insights with debasing, pessimistic introspection. You can’t be lifted up when your head is hanging down. When your heart and mind are in the dumps, and you have feelings of dejection, you will bring about a serious case of procrastination and inaction.
You go where your head and heart lead you. If all your thinking, feeling and future projection is aimed down, it’s only natural that you’re trajectory will be down. If you are down, you go into a state of procrastination and inaction. If action is the root of change… inaction is the root of staying the same. It’s all about your action or inaction!
Limiting, condescending, self-ridicule and reminders of past failures, come from your BullySelf. You are your own bully now, beating yourself up while you are bringing yourself down. And this Bully isn’t going to coach you through it safely. When your BullySelf tells you that you “can’t” do it, you can cut off his power by saying to yourself, “Hey, I CAN figure this out, just give me a minute!”
If you truly want better answers, you need to ask better questions. It’s not so much about the content of the question; it’s more about the tone, attitude or emotional mindset you’re in when you ask it. Setting yourself up to find encouragement in the tone and emotion of your self-inquiry has great power to eliminate your self-doubt. (Self- doubt is one of the main players in the “Attitude of Impotence”).
Trust me; I’ve experienced this for YEARS! I am usually so concerned with how other people see me, that I overthink things to the nth degree! I’m constantly analyzing the impact of what I say or how I do something. SO much so that I get stuck in flurries that look like action but that actually end up thwarting my progress. All that busy activity, when I examine it from a distance, ends up being just a high energy frenzy of procrastination and inaction. The actions make me feel busy but their scattered focus becomes a diluted mess.
My “THINK” makes me “FEEL” inadequate so my “DO” becomes “DIDN’T” instead! …and then comes… (“Ugh, why am I so stupid?”)
In the end, I still feel inadequate, unworthy, sometimes even bumbling or stupid. All that positioning for control of my outward image, gets messed up by my beliefs about my image, to the point where I felt worse than if I had simply put forth simple, genuine effort, without all the drama.
I want you to be aware so you can avoid the same mess. When you start to feel these low energy feelings, or hear the voice of the BullySelf telling you his lies, begin to question the thoughts you are thinking. Question the motives behind them. Question your reactions and above all, question your answers! The truth is probably buried beneath several layers of false awareness.
Sometimes we feel more secure and comfortable in the same old quagmire we have gotten used to. …Question that as well. Question yourself in ways that anticipate a rise in consciousness. Question with the idea that there IS an answer which will propel you upward and toward a better future. If you goof it up, you can start over! You are never stuck when you have unasked questions!
Keep your chin up. Once you realize that you’ve asked yourself a low energy, self-demoralizing question, follow up with questions which feel more uplifting, feel hopeful. Ask yourself in a more uplifting way. Question the questions …and especially the attitudes and tones that color them. You can even ask yourself, “Why do I take that tone with myself when I think about _______?”
Can you change the tone of your self-driven questions? “Hey, who won the game?” Is a lot different than, “Did we lose again last night?”
Depending on tone and how you ask it, the first question can be full of hope and positive expectation. (There is a possibility that we won!) The second is definitely low energy, downtrodden and feeling lost before ever starting out. (We always lose so we probably lost again) The first comes from a place of joy in our past successes with the hope of repeating success. (Choosing to look up) The second comes from cynicism, gloominess, the habitual anticipation of being beset with failures. (Choosing to look down)
Can you begin to see the difference in a hopeful, uplifting, questioning-attitude as opposed to a demoralizing, miserable expectation of low morale?
You can feel an invigorating difference when you revamp your internal examinations. “Could I have handled that better?” Is more powerful for your self-evaluation than, “Why do I always do that?”… “I wonder, what would happen if ______?” is more beneficial than, “Arrgh! Why am I such an idiot!?”
Upbeat questions, seasoned with a tone of anticipated improvement are the pathway to finding real solutions. Even if the solutions you come up with seem imperfect for now, ask yourself if a little improvement is better than the swampiness of the status quo. Is there a short term, temporary fix that can bridge the gap on the way to a more robust and comprehensive fix?
Instead of shooting down everything but the perfect solution, maybe you could take a little pressure off yourself in the short term, until a more permanent fix makes itself available. (I find this very helpful when I remember to do it!!)
There are unlimited solutions available to your limitless mind! If only you’ll awaken to the possibility that they are within your reach. Keep at it! If you’ll practice, and become mindful of the tone and anticipation behind your self-discovery, the BullySelf will run out of negative emotions before you run out of upbeat, empowering questions. (This can take a while at first!)
Upbeat, empowering questions, asked with the expectation of a positive outcome, will bring answers to fuel your unlimited growth. Better questioning techniques and questioning of the questions will give you confidence for improvement in every area of your life. You will be seen as a leader, confident and strong. You will have excellent answers because you asked exceptional questions. You begin to feel less fearful and more capable. (This was big for me)
You’ll feel your ability to change for the better; no matter what life throws at you or what gets in your way. This is the essence of all life improvement. This is a first step to overcoming your BullySelf.
To receive empowering answers, ask yourself empowering questions, then, question the questions and amp up your answer-tude! (Attitude)
